Thursday, April 02, 2009

JUST A SHOULDER TO CRY

I entered her room, she was upset –I finished my work and left the room with out bothering her.

After that I was not able to concentrate on anything so I decided to finally ask her if she needed any help

I sat next to her, asked her “if anything was wrong”, she said “do you really care?”

(I wished to say no -- crazy girl, I was trying to be nice and she was rude, but tried my best to control myself as I though that this was not the right time to think about all this)

I again asked her – “can I help?”

She said “No -you just leave”

(Now this was too much, and I actually got up to leave the room – she cared least and I was fuming)

Controlling me I again sat next to her.

I told her “tell me if I can help and if you think I can’t and still need a shoulder to cry then don’t hesitate”

Next few days were dry - just hiee and byessss – I decided not to probe further (but trust me it was really difficult for me)

Then on the fourth day I just went inside her room and sat next to her, didn’t say anything – just sat there.

She hugged me tightly and cried endlessly for almost 20 min - wetting my tee and almost suffocating me.

None of us said anything but she cried her heart out and I let her to - as I had made a promise “in case you need a shoulder to cry don’t hesitate”:

Sometimes what we need is just a shoulder to cry

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We are only here briefly, and in this moment I want to allow myself joy