Previous few days have been lifeless,
I was getting up every day to finish the day to sleep on time,
And sleeping each night to get up early to reach office on time.
Life was going nowhere – still it is not on track infact I have started believing that it will never be
When people say “ Manush Janam is a sin “ may be they are right
when ISKON preaches “ To move away from this mortal body and devote yourself to god” may be they also are right ,
I have seen so many contradicting people that by the end it is difficult for me to identify what I belong to.
I love buying stuff – when ISKON preaches that “ MOH tayag do , Icheon pe niyantran( Control your desires)” then this though goes for a toss when I want to buy something I like
My heart - body - mind all shout in union “I want this”
It seems difficult to withdraw myself from this life.
But then at personnel level I have become very - very patient,
I try to analyze before reacting to anything
Listen to people even if I differ and never force anyone into something I feel is right
Do what I can to me best level, least expecting people to contribute there bit
Slowly - Slowly trying to do good to my soul.
It is so much difficult to react to so many things sometimes that I pray to god for forgiveness for being selfish.
I take a deep breath and console myself for the lost tears.
I ask god for forgiveness.
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About Me
- Shally
- We are only here briefly, and in this moment I want to allow myself joy
3 comments:
Many a times, my mind asks for forgiveness from God. But then I think about what am I asking? Whom am I asking? And for whom
For whom should I ask forgiveness, for me or someone inside me? I feel that someone is sitting inside my body may be soul or some other thing (I don’t know), but some one is there who makes me do the things which I don’t want to do. Things which I will repent? Or ask forgiveness for!
I confess that I am not doomed but I guess someone there is sitting inside me and asking me,” what about me, man?”
When I feel hungry I feed myself. But the one who is inside me wants to feed on something ,which I am unable to understand .I guess he wants something which he wants me to find for him.
On the other part, I think that when I have come to life for what ever reason, “What is the purpose of this life? Is it to work and then go back to that darkness or is it to do something which will ensure that I don’t get back this life again. And if I start doing the latter part, then am I practical?
Wise people say,
”After several forms of rebirths, we finally achieve the right to be born as humans.”
Same wise people then say ,”being human is no great ,we need to shed all worldly things(Mooah maya) and try to achieve the ultimate(Moksha).”
My heart asks me,” then why do we get the form of human? Is it the way to ‘Moksha’? Or a way to deviate the path to Moksha! As if, the, ultimate would get crowded!”
Just enchant the name of Krishna........
Shally,
never seen this side of yours before.. And never thought that I'll be reading something like this on your blog.
It only strengthens my conviction that there is a bit of spirituality in everyone. And within you, I found a nice huge piece of cake.
Would like to read some more stuff on this from you.
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