Small notes -

I wanted freedom from the chains which had now starting piercing deep into the flesh leaving not even my bones untouched, I cried in pain, I screamed, it was unbearable – still i was inaudible. Helplessly I got up to walk few steps, before I crumbled and fall back for one last time and this time I was free – free from all the pains in this world till I will born again to be bound again by chains.

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Sometimes I find it very difficult to fight the fears within me, I feel clueless and it becomes almost difficult to think anything else. Feeling of being insignificant makes me feel away from the normal me.
I sometimes question myself that how difficult is it to motivate yourself to achieve something you love to do. I fear dying with a feeling that my life was a waste on earth.
I don’t know how to feel motivated and curb that negativity which resides within me to be a free soul

will somebody help me please
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In future I know I will repent about some said and unsaid words , but the worst thing is that I don’t know about all this today.
Today i am driven by emotions in current phase, which makes me do what i am doing and makes me say things which i am saying.

may be wisdom will come with mistakes and time
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Complexity of life, people around disturbs me so much that sometimes I wonder why god created this, what was his purpose of the creation of such complex thoughts and situations. When I see at people around I feel life is so miserable, so much of loneliness.
Attachments detachments, Reading about all this is one thing but accepting it is something else. Sometimes I feel sad about so many things in life , they look very minor but just bring jest of life .

We all feel like running away from sadness tension but it engulfs us and then destroys us

God please save you , bless us , love us -

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I am one soul. I just can’t concentrate on anything at all, I feel so lost irritated and sad most of the time, I just want to live away from all nonsense and concentrate on myself.
I feel least interested in anything I do. Be it work or personnel life , nothing excites me – somewhere I feel it is sigh of depression , but it is quit funny when I really don’t have much reason to be depressed, and yes no one will ever realize it, I just feel like getting away from all this . I feel like leaving everything and going back to my family and spend peaceful time with them all – may be till eternity.

I am really missing so many important things in life that some years later I will have nothing left with me. It is really a wired world, and yes being a human is the worst punishment god can ever give us, I feel so lonely most of the time. I talk chat and chill but inside a feel a big hallow, darkness and more darkness, I feel scared when I close my eyes as I feel that this chaos is going to gulp me completely. Sometimes life blesses you with reasons to smile and sometimes you just can’t find a single reason to live. I don’t know what I want in life, I just don’t know. I just live a lifeless life.

Out of all this chaos what I love most is talking to my mom – I just feel that she just binds me to this whole world when we are just no one.

we just miss out the real flavor of life

I have observed something funny these days.

I am crazy about this particular song and love listening to it endlessly on my mobile, this song has 2 paragraphs and the funny thing is that while 2nd paragraph starts (which is my most fav 1) I start feeling uneasy as I start bothering more about the end of song as I need to replay it before next song starts playing. In that way I never enjoy it completely and am more bothered about the replay activity.

I found it really stupid as - I was not actually enjoying the song and was feeling totally uneasy - sort of uncomfortable, I don't know if something like this happens to you , but I feel this very frequently . May be I am generally overexcited about this.

I can share 1 classic example

When I am having starter \ soup , more than enjoying it what I am bothered is the food item I am gonna order for main course , and while having main course I just think about the desert me gonna order. Do you know in the process I enjoy nothing - except the confusion? :)

The idea of just sitting back casually and enjoying life is missing - We are always in hurry - But I fail to understand why –Have we programmed ourselves like this ??

I guess in real life too we just miss out the real flavor of life and like worrying about what is gonna happen next - and i hate this :(

Un-complicate Life

Well this is really easier said than done , I don't have any mantra to share that can uncomplicated things in your life but yes atleast if you paste this message on your desk and near you bed then definitely you will start doing something about it.



Last few weeks I was endlessly upset about things, not very major though - but just too cribbing, complaining and least interested in anything I do. I know we all feel same at some point of life, Sometimes we have big problems to worry about and most of the times we just pay more importance to irrelevant things which lead to unhappiness.



This is what I am gonna do about it, Just feel like announcing it online so that I kind of make a open commitment J



1. Don't bother about -ve things \ people in personnel and professional life, just ignore them. They are not worth that you should waste time and effort thinking about them. Work by you strengths and forget about weaknesses.



2. List down things which bother you , everything even the silliest like " will I get to leave early today from office" , after that sort them as worries which are in your control and which are not , this will get clutter out of your mind at least you will know about the thoughts which go in your mind.



3. For worries which are in your control just list all possible solutions for them and paste then infort of you everywhere , like my worry is " if I can get morning bus to office " and solution is that " I need to get up early for that ". Just write it down somewhere and revisit that page again and again , revisit and start applying the solution.



4. For worries which are not in your control - just try to get rid of them from your mind. I know it is really difficult but any little effort is worth the effect.



5. Understand people around and just ensure that you behave with them just the way they expect - well it doesn't mean changing your basic personality, It simply means to avoid tiffle with people for eg, I don't mind teasing people , some people take it in healthy sense and some really get annoyed so I ensure I don't behave with people who don't like it at all.



6. Love people and be assured that they love you, don't start doubting it again and again - this way you are just giving yourself pain, different people have different ways of expressing themselves and if people don't react the way we want then we get upset, some people are very expressive and some are very subtle, it is difficult to change the basic nature of a person so the best way is to accept the way he \ she is with his weaknesses. Pinpointing weaknesses just make things worse , Remember even we are not perfect



7. Have happy friends , and just be happy friends to others , sometimes we don't need a problem solver but a cheerer , Chit chat , bitch , laugh , crib , tease and gossip with your happy friends just laugh out loud with them .



8. Stay away from people who are always cribbing, they are killing leave them alone - unless you want to be like one.



9. Enjoy being in love with you , list down things which you like and can be done alone , may be a walk , painting , reading , shopping , gyming do any of these when you dont have any company . It is good to spend time with yourself.



10. Be selfish sometimes, indulge in luxury, and lie royally sometimes. There is no harm when you are not harming anyone in the process.



11. Wear a smile and just compliment people, share good things and they will come back to you.



12. Spend time with your loved ones and cherish that time , remember the times when you were dying to do so and had nobody to talk to, don't waste good times in stupid egos.



13. Flush out - don't carry the extra baggage. Meet people and just chill out without bothering them about your problems - they too may have many.



14. Be yourself - be honest to yourself, you are special. be in love with yourself , the way you drees , the way you style your hair , the way you walk - You are he best creation of god